I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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