She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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