No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
