Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
