Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
