I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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