her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just found a bag of teeth...
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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