The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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