I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
