If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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