I cannot find my penis.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
