And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
