i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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