My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
