HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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