I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
