the day after is always just damage control
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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