everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Randomize
