Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
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If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize