I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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