im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The uberlube is also flammable
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
