A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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