I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
