i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
