i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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