He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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