dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I have already put on my inside pants.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
