If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
