Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
