my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
