Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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