I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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