My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
