Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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