literally had 100 drinks last night.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize