I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
