i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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