i may or may not be watching the land before time
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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