dude i'm inner monologue high
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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