If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im holly from the hills drunk
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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