This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
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I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
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Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off