My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.