I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Can I color on your dick again?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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