Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
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Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.