My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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