she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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