The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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