im about as happy as oj after his trial
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
