Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
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they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
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Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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