forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
