I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
