Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
