his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
