small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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