i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
