And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
