i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
