I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
