I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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