dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
