I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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