Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
