dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
